By far the most interesting/funny review of the WC participants is on
http://football.guardian.co.uk/worldcup2006
Here is a taste...the Dutch...
Group C
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Holland
The cliché
The best team never to win the cup.
The reality
This is an atypical Dutch side, big on harmony and singing from the same song sheet but lacking the talent and fantasy needed to hit their usual high notes: expect not so much shexy football as Prescott-in-purple-Y-fronts football. They qualified unbeaten, conceding three goals in 12 games, but are dangerously dependent on the firepower of Arjen Robben and Ruud van Nistelrooy.
Where they're staying
The Parkhotel Adler in Freiburg is a sedate, old-world hideaway that looks part Victorian palace, part care home for the elderly. With local temptations amounting to ski-jumping, golf courses and Lake Titisee, not even Stanley Victor Collymore could get into mischief here.
Grudge match
Since Germany invaded Holland in the war their relationship makes England and Argentina seem like Hugh Grant and Divine Brown. Is it really 16 years since Frank Rijkaard's flob-and-go shampoo was launched in the San Siro?
The politics
Dutch footballers traditionally fall out more than Janet Jackson at the Superbowl, with an animosity chart that reads like a celebrity sex tree. But Colin Farrell and Calum Best, aka Clarence Seedorf and Edgar Davids, have been cast aside for kids who really do believe that it's one for all and all for one. Until one of them has his Toblerone nicked.
Supported by
The Oranje are as subtle as a Tango slap - a sweating, 20,000-strong mass of face-paint, luminous shirts and joie de vivre.
Slogan on team coach
"Oranje on the road to gold"
The coach: Marco van Basten
On his chalkboard
Like staid lovers, Dutch teams do it only one way: 4-3-3. In midfield two flunkies will do the skivvying for the playmaker Rafael van der Vaart, while up front the two touchline-hugging wingers (Robben and probably Kuyt) will supply Van Nistelrooy.
In his closet
Van Basten is one of the good guys, as squeaky clean as a mouse with OCD, although he was part of the multi-talented, multi-whingeing Dutch team that disgraced themselves in 1990.
The players
Most likely to move to Bolton
Phillip Cocu is experienced, can belabour the ball 60 yards and, most crucially of all, would allow Sam Allardyce to colour in another country on his world map. At 35 he could yet be the new Gary Speed.
Oscar nominee
Arjen Robben, the only man in world football who could get an opponent sent off for violent conduct during the pre-match handshake.
King of the endorsements
Van Nistelrooy has compromised his dignity (and shorts size) to nosebag huge amounts from Coca-Cola and Pringles.
You'll be copying . . .
The Robben baldness pattern is the craze that's sweeping the nation, albeit involuntarily. And Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink's gloriously aristocratic name will have the Deed Poll service busier than at any time since the halcyon days of Ben Dover.
Nation sweating on
Ruud's mood. A happy, hungry Van Nistelrooy is a galumphing goal-getter without peer; a morose Van Nistelrooy is surly, divisive and with enough lead in his arse to open an HB factory.
Rooney to have a grand on
The whole Dutch team releasing a lounge-jazz interpretation of the Arctic Monkeys' Mardy Bum after winning the tournament, with Victor Meldrew on guest vocals and Colin Farrell playing Clarence Seedorf in the video.
If they were shoes . . . High heels
Most blokes agree they look pretty good, others go a step further and say they scream sex, sex, shex. But they're not particularly adaptable and are often found out on their ear when the road gets rocky.
The stats
Fifa ranking 3rd Odds to win 12-1
World Cup finals record P32 W14 D8 L10 F56 A36
World Cup best Runners-up 1974, '78
Record in qualifying P12 W10 D2 L0
Group fixtures
Serbia & Montenegro June 11, Leipzig 2pm
Ivory Coast June 16, Stuttgart 5pm
Argentina June 21, Frankfurt 8pm
The country
On the psychiatrist's couch
Life is so unfair: everybody thinks all we do is sit in coffee shops smoking and wander down red-light districts. Well, we export cheese as well. And those bloody Grolsch advertsh have made everyone think we're idiotsch. And I've never had my finger in a bloody dyke.
What they eat
Stamppot - mashed potato mixed with vegetables, some more vegetables and very occasionally a bit of meat - is a typical winter dish about which the Dutch have a catchy saying: Never eat curly kale before the frost has got at it.
What they watch
Goede Tijden, Slechte Tijden (Good Times, Bad Times), a soap so trashy it makes Hollyoaks look arthouse, boasting such modestly named characters as Bing Mauricius and "Sneaky" Stef Willems.
Anthem in brief: Wilhelmus van Nassouwe
Over 15 verses the Dutch tell the story of William, Prince of Orange who, despite being a German, freed the nation from the rapacious Spanish with a big helping hand from God and a thunderstorm.
Well I never
There are twice as many bicycles in Holland as there are cars. And Holland's motto "Je Maintiendrai" (I will persist) is written in French.
The squad
<Snip ... I cut this bit out 'cause it's boring>