
En de Engelsen komen met een koddig lijstje aan redenen aanzetten waarom je aanstaande zondag Spanje of Nederland zou moeten supporteren.
Reasons to root for Spain.
1. Cesc Fabregas. Even if he doesn't play.
2. The Dutch uniforms are awful. Bad enough they've got those shades-necessary bright orange shirts, but those numbers look like someone just put masking tape on the backs.
3. Dutch cuisine seems mainly based around little other than cheese. (In fact, early English settlers of New Amsterdam, which became New York, called Dutch shopkeepers "John Cheese," or, in their dialect, "Jan Kees" -- and this is supposedly where the word "Yankees" comes from.) Whereas Spanish cuisine... mmmm, paella.
4. The hottest babe in Spanish history is Penelope Cruz. The hottest babe in Dutch history is... uh, Famke Janssen?
Reasons to root for the Netherlands.
1. Robin van Persie.
2. To punish Barcelona.
3. To show Cesc what happens when Barcelona leave you on the
bench.
4. To show Johan Cruijff (who, it appears, is rooting for his "club") what happens when you turn against the country that raised you and made you famous.
5. Memories of Dennis Bergkamp and Marc Overmars.
6. The Spanish players' hair. I realize that the country was liberated from fascism in 1975, but that doesn't mean they have to have Disco Period Hair!
7. The art edge. Spain had Goya. The Netherlands had van Gogh, Vermeer, Van Dyke, and many other great painters.
8. Dutch cheese is actually pretty good. Dutch chocolate, even better.
9. The Netherlands has Ajax, who taught the world the way football should be played in 1971, and again in 1995; Feyenoord, which produced van Persie AND were the first European club to realize that Spurs = c**nts; and PSV, which had a special team a few years back. Spain has Real Madrid and Barcelona. Ew and ew.
10. Famke Janssen is still something special.
11. The average Dutch woman is still better-looking than the average Spanish woman.
12. The Spanish once ruled the Netherlands with an iron fist.
13. Haven't the Dutch suffered enough?
Conclusion: Root for the Netherlands.